Zer0,

Exposed.

To see who I really am,
to be who I really am,
its such a difficult task.
So long have I hid behind such an un-pretty mask.
Nothing left.
More than just a memory.
My life drifts by.
Something less then Serenity.
Unhappy.
Unwilling
Unable to be myself.
Strip me from my mask
To show myself
To see who I really am,
to be who I really am,

its such a difficult task.

It's so hard to just be myself. I really do feel unsatisfied with myself. With the person I am.
How I act, sometimes so Immature, that I can't even stand myself. I don't enjoy who I am.
and I try to change it but its so hard, try to change my life, my outlook, my everything. Its so difficult
to just get by. To just sit here and be myself just for one day. I don even know who I am.
So discontent when I look in the mirror, so disgusted by who I am. Am I really a good person?
Can I really change the world?
Can I really show my true colors?

I mean, yes Ive been honest to everyone but myself. I look in the mirror and I cringe.
Why do I cringe?
What is it about me that disgusts myself, and makes others want more?

I sit here and write all that I can, to show you that I am just as normal as them.

I cry, I fight, I'm at a loss.

I really like someone, and I don't know why.
He makes me happy, he makes me shine.

I repeat myself constantly.
This is the real me.

I've come to realize how much I hate this world. Not all the people in it just how we act. We make things that are so worthless worth the most. We do the same mistakes over and over again. We are born in a repeating cycle of our parents. We are not unique we are exactly the same...
Or it least it seems that way.

Its so hard to say what I have to say. I just need to break away.

I really like this boy, and I really hope he likes me back, he makes me smile big, and I make him smile back. He holds me close and I feel so there, I feel alive. No matter where I am.
I am so happy, so pleased to be with him. I want to love him, but its too soon, too too soon.
I get so excited when I'm around him.
We have adventures that Ive never had before. I explore things with a different outlook when I'm around him.
I'm so happy I could just scream.
But when hes gone I have this certain pattern, it happens with every boyfriend Ive ever had.
I'm afraid that hell find someone better.
I'm afraid that hes with another girl.


Why am I so afraid?